MrKyleChen

2002-09-24T20:41:00.000-04:00

I missed my first class of the semester today. Three weeks of perfect attendance, GONE. Three weeks probbaly doesnt seem like shit, but yo, considering how often I use to miss class, its a huge accomplishment for me. I'm afraid that now that I finally missed one, there'll just be many many more to come.

Y'know, I feel like I'm tied to this huge ass rubber band. Whenever I feel like I am finally going somewhere with my life, I get snapped right back to where I started. From the outset of this school year, I told myself that I was going to study my ass off and get my shit together. No more missiing classes, no more half assed study nights, no more bullshit. I started off real well, studying at every possible moment and keeping the socializinig to a real minimum. However, I feel that things have changed in the past few days. I've been slacking off a lil. Like, I'm still keeping up with my work n all, but it seems like nothing is sinking in. I keep on letting my mind wander off and I end up daydreaming about stupid ass shit. I know this doesnt seem like a big deal but yo, I aint playing this year. Gotta keep it real serious. Gotta pick up my GPA, gotta get a job.

I dont know. For some reason, I feel that as much as I try to progress in my life, I'll always get snapped right back to where I was. As much as I study and try to get serious about life, I always end up slacking off and sitting around w/ my thumb up my ass. And as much as I try and move on, something pulls me right back to square one.

2002-08-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

I am taking some time to find the person I once was.

To all the people that have been there for me this summer, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To YOU, I am forever sorry for what I did.

2002-08-11T03:52:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry.

2002-08-02T12:37:00.000-04:00

Its been about 36 hours since my loveboat experience came to an end. And after about a day and half of relection and rememberance can I actually find the words to describe it. Despite all the boredom, awkward moments, hardships, diarrhea, stomach cramps, giant mosquitos, and heartaches...this has been, quite possibly, the best month of my life. As much as it pains me to revisit my loveboat memories, mainly because I miss it so much, I feel compelled to look over the pictures I have taken and the VCD the counselors made for us every few hours.

Its really funny how things turned out. In the beginning, I was so unbelieveably miserable. Now, I am unbelievably sad that things are over. But I suppose every good thing must come to and end. Well at least in my life they do. Now I must revert to the old boring, overly-responsible, anal-retentive Kyle and leave loveboat Kyle behind. Perhaps one of the reasons why I enjoyed loveboat so much was because I was able to step out of myself for a lil while. I was able to do things I wouldnt normally do in my regular life. Things like being carefree, being reckless...drunk(?).

However, despite how much I have gained on this trip, I have also paid a huge price. Well, someone else has paid a huge price to be more exact. During my time on Loveboat, while I was busy having fun and not being me, I hurt someone, whom I care deeply about and whom is the last person in the world that deserves to be hurt. And for that, I am deeply sorry.

So for the next week, I will be bumming around Taiwan, chilling with fams, catching up with relatives I havent seen yet and shoping for folks back home. Please email me or IM and let me know if you guys want anything from Taiwan. Aiites, guess thats it. Payce.

2002-07-25T09:02:00.000-04:00

Things are winding down here in Taiwan. Loveboat is ending in a couple days and after a week of chilling with fams, I'ma have to return to my exciting and stimulating days of watching TV and surfing eBay. I will be sad when this is over, but all good things must come to an end right?

We took a 3 day trip to Yi Lan on monday. Its in Northeast Taiwan and was really beautiful. I think I would have had mad fun but I got a stomach virus the very first day, so that fucking sucked. I had massive stomach cramps and diarrhea. Yummy huh?

Went to this club called Plush yesterday. Its suppose to be one of the nicest/most expensive clubs in Taiwan. I must say that it was well worth the $700 NT door. The place was very well decorated, lots of nice couches and waitresses wearing skimpy ass shit. hehe. And they spun the best hip-hop that I have heard in Taiwan so far. I was very impressed. My only complaint was that the dance floor was really small. I also ran into 2xs Amy there. She was w/ her g/f's and seemed to be having a really good time on loveboat as well. Too bad I couldnt chill much because of my....bowel problems.

For anyone who doesnt have anything to do next summer and is between the ages of 18-23, GO ON LOVEBOAT~! This includes you Brian. I'm sure you can lie about the age thing and come tear shit up here in Taiwan.

2002-07-19T09:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not blogging in a while boys and girls. Things got a lil hectic this past week and everytime I got the chance to blog, I couldnt think of anything to blog about. But yea, things are good in Taiwan. Real good. For a while, things started to slow down and the conversations started to get dry, but leave it to a night at a local club with forty loveboaters, plus some drinks and some hip hop music to pick things right back up.

The only word that comes to mind when trying to describe the past 3 weeks is surreal. This trip is turning out to be seriously one of the best times that I've ever had in my life. I dont think I have ever been this carefree, at least not in my adult life. Its been really nice to just step away from my anal-retentive, self-righteous judegmental life and just chillax. Although I miss NY and my family n all, I'm really dreading going back.

2002-07-09T03:33:00.000-04:00

I think things have really turned around for me here in Taiwan. I'm actually having a pretty good time. I've met some pretty chillz people and been rolling with them almost every night. its dope because we dont hang out in the huge group of people and we mostly find our own spots to chill at. I genuinely, or at least hope so, think that the people I hang out with chill together because we want to, not just because a group of people just happening to be doing something. I'm really happy that things are working out this way.

As far as last night was concerned. My "crew" and I went to this mad nice kareoke place around Sogo mall called Cash Box. This place was straight up like a hotel. I'm talking about marble floors and ceilings, employees dressed in Tuxs who greet you and bow to you at the door, invidiual rooms with leather couches, your own bathroom and a bar. And on top of all that shit, food and drinks are included. We ended up singing for like 2 hours in this mad nice place and it only ended up costing about 300 NT ($9) EACH~! How fucking great is that! A place like this in NYC would literally run like $200 per hour or some shit. goddam chilling in Taiwan is cheap. Too bad the weather here is hot as ASS cheeks and there's a typoon like every other day, literally.

I'm really glad that I am here this summer. Although I am still missing NY, all its people and my baby (the CIVIC) Haha, I'm really glad I got the opportunity to really experience Taiwan. I mean, it'll prolly be a few years before I actually get to come back and the chances that I'll actually get to do it with a group of ABC's like this will prolly never happen again. Yes yes, to all the people that I was bitching at about how wack this trip was, you can all say it. I told you so.

2002-07-06T09:28:00.000-04:00

Kyle's Friday night in Taiwan:

Went to Shi Ling night market. Missed out on a lot of good food due to upset stomach and THREE canker sores. Bought a T-Shirt w/ a design I really liked for like $5. Was mad happy until I tried it on after I got back and realized its like 3 sizes to small and fits me like a baby tee. Happiness ended. Grabbed a few people and went to this bar/lounge called B1 ($500 cover, all you can drink). Heard Hip-Hop when waiting on line; became happy again. Upon entering the bar, they played YMCA followed by Dancing Queen; became sad while simultaneously having flashbacks of my 6th grade school dance. Cops raided the club looking for drugs and checking ID's. Used broken Chinese to explain to them we were dumb innocent foreigners who had no drugs and were just there for the local girls. Sold out to the devil and had some alcohol. Black Russians are fucking strong. Laughed my head off as I watched two friends try to spit game at two local Chinese girls not knowing any mandarin and the girls not knowing any English. Staggered back to camp just before curfew acting afool in front of the counselors. Woke up with a bad ass headache. Soberness RULEz, Alcohol Drools.

2002-07-04T13:23:00.000-04:00

Loveboat bitch-entry 3:

So far, in my 4 days on loveboat, they have taken us to a botanical garden, a FARM, two museums (Customs and National Taiwan), and the Chinese "FBI" office. Fun shit eh? Well, as far as the people go, most of the cliques have already been formed so I think its going to be harder to make friends. The bullshit into's have died down, which I guess is a good/bad thing depending how you look at it.

Well, on a brighter note (hehe, bet you didn't see that one coming), I went to this club called Room 18 last night. The entire club was pretty much over run with ABC's from my loveboat camp and the other ones. We braced through a fucking typhoon to get to this place. Thats how eager everyone was to have some fucking fun. They played a decent amount of Hip-Hop, which was great and un-expected, followed by a set of WACK trance/techno shit. I was so happy to be able to actually stop small talking with ppl and dance a little. I think EVERYONE needed it after being couped up in the dorms for like 3 days. Hopefully, this was some sort of turning point and things will improve. But we shall have to see. Okay, until next time boys and girls.

2002-07-02T12:59:00.000-04:00

To all that people that told me to go on loveboat because it was so much fun....DIE~!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you all. For the past 2 days that I have been on the program, its been non-stop meet n greet bullshit. OMG I cant take it anymore. Its not like meeting ppl in college cause at school, you at least have other stuff like class, studying, TVetc. to do. Here, its been NON fucking STOP..."Hi, how are you. My name is...i am from...Where do you go to school" BULLSHIT. I'm talking when you wake up, when you're eating, when you're fucking trying to sleep n shit. Someone please email me and remind me that I was actually someone cool and liked in my pre-looveboat life.

2002-07-01T02:47:00.000-04:00

Hello from the land of shoe-sized roaches and smelly tofu (cho-dofu). Sorry for the lack of updates. Unlike Suj, who is getting lots of ass in Spain, no doubt, I spent most of my past week here in Taiwan online and watching TV shows that I dont really understand. The only thing I have been doing is eating, eating and more eating, which leads to upset stomachs, indegestion and....massive squirting. There is hope however. Today I embark on the adventure that is Loveboat.

I went to check out the dorms today and holy shit do these Taiwanese college kids have it bad. Their rooms are about the size of a SQ double but is shared by 4 students, each sleeping head to foot. Their bathrooms...holy shit. Its straight outta shawshank, literally. I don't know how I'ma be able to adjust, but I guess I dont have much of a choice.

Okay, enough bitching. I'll complain more later.

2002-06-24T20:39:00.000-04:00

First off, I would like to thank everyone who came out on Saturday and not forcing me to drink my ass off considering it was my 21st. BIG Thank you for making it all possible.

For all of you who don't know. I am in Taiwan right now and will be for the next six weeks. I am going to spend a week catching up with the fams and then the next month "loveboating". Don't worry, I am striclty in it for the culture. hehe. In any case I will try and blog about my adventures as often as possible and try to promote myself in jon's blogger heirarchy. I can't think of anything creative nor witty to write about so I will end my blog now.

2002-06-22T02:50:00.000-04:00

Well, aside from the freaky elf-looking character that they chose to depict "a down to earth" person, I feel that this description fits me quite well. Yes/No?

I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

You are the most in touch with knowledge. It's the tree of life from which you tap the sap. You know what you want and you know how to reasonably get it.

Virtues: You respect people with plans. When someone has their head on their shoulders, you know that they can see straightforward and keep their eyes on the mark. When it comes to looking at the future, you take a logical approach: what's within your ability? A fortunate attribute that you have is the ability to set a goal for yourself, higher than maybe you feel possible, but still keep yourself within reasonable bounds. You take the time to appreciate those surrounding you and they do appreciate you in return. Decision-making comes naturally to you when you take the time to consider each option. People only come to talk to you when they are looking for a logical, reasonable solution.

Aspirations: You have an idea of what you can do with your life, but you push it up a notch. You need a profession that you can enjoy, so work towards it. You want to live near your friends and family while being as far away as possible. You also want to settle down while working in excitement and variation.

Quirks: You don't appreciate drama queens and they don't appreciate you. When they need help, they won't seek you out because of your ability to see through their overly dramatic predicaments. You have leeway for humor, and sometimes love to participate in it, but when it becomes irrational behavior, others can count you out. Loud noises are bothersome, except when they come from you or your friends.

Factors: Reach for the sky! Don't decide to do something because you're merely good at it, but choose something you might like to do, despite whether you're sure you can master it or not. Don't only save room for a few empathetic friends, but open up to everyone.

Future: When looking for a job, if you work in all of your talents (logic, decision-making, planning, and definitely humor), you'll find yourself happy. Come to a compromise for location; live nearby your friends and take periodic vacations or live farther away and take frequent return trips.

2002-05-30T05:09:00.000-04:00

I said it once, I'll say it again. Girls who drive stickshift are so fucking sexy. I was driving back from this sports bar with lil tonight when a del sol pulled up next to me at a stoplight on Northern Blvd. I glance over and saw two Asian girls, sittin pretty in their little convertible. They weren't especially hot, just decent looking. While waiting for the light, I heard the revving of their engine that can only be done with a 5spd and the growl of an aftermarket exhaust. Instanly, their sexy points doubled. "She doesnt want to race does she" asked my pointy chinned passenger. Just then, the light turned green and they took off. I quickly floored the gas, dumped the clutch and caught up to them about a block down. By 3rd gear, I had my sexy counterparts by about a car's length and was still pulling on them, so I decided to call it quits. I figured I made my point and that getting pulled over for racing on Northern wouldnt be the best thing for me considering my financial situation.

The point of the story is: if you are not HOT but would like to become hot, and you dont feel like spending thousands of dollars on plastic surgery....learn how to drive stick and buy a exhaust for your car. Instant sexy-ness.

2002-05-27T03:46:00.000-04:00

I strongly feel that I should stop going to K-town. I think that street and I are not meant to be. The last 2 times I was there, my sister's car alarm remote malfunctioned and I wasn't able to disable the fucking alarm. Hence, I could not drive away. Last night, while I was chilling with the visiting Michigan heads at BLUE, some fucker(s) broke into my car. What did they take you ask? Was it my stereo, my CDs, my radar detector that was fucking detector that was sitting on the dash??? No~! They fucking stole a bastketball that I had in my trunk. A FUCKING BALL is what they broke into my car for. In the process, they fucked up my lock, in which I can no longer turn my key. So now, everytime I wanna get into my car, I gotta open up the fucking passenger side door, and lean over to unlock the driver's side door. What a fucking Bitch~! The worst part is that shit is probably going to cost at least 2 bills to fix. All for what? A FUCKING Basketball.~!!

2002-05-20T19:33:00.000-04:00

Toilet Paper

2002-05-20T19:30:00.000-04:00

I got a pseudo informational-leading to potential internship possibility interview with Morgan Stanley on Weds. I am extremely nervous about it. It took me a whole 30 mins and two cigs to gather up the nerve to call this guy up and schedule something with him. I realized that I have a big problem talking to professionals, exprecially white ones. I hope I dont fuck this shit up.

Well, this week should be better than last week. I have a lil more spending money, my parents left me home by myself for a week and change, and I actually have an interview to prepare for. On top of that, Jenny will be returning from the motherland and a few people will be visiting fro Mich. Fun fun fun...

2002-05-15T03:47:00.000-04:00

OMG, someone please find me a job. These stoopid, yet very interesting quizes, are what I resort to to kill time.

Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley

2002-05-13T19:24:00.000-04:00

Please do this car nut a favor and take this quiz.

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Which car are you?

2002-05-13T03:49:00.000-04:00

Can someone please show me how to get an interview?

For the past 2-3 weeks, I've been editing, revising, researching, thesaurus-izing my resume and cover letter to make Me, more appealing to employers. Everyday, I hit the send & recieve button, sending a little part of me out into the corporate world, hoping someone might find the last 20 years of my life interesting and give me an opportunity to work for them. And everyday,......nothing. absolutely nothing returns. Not a "Yes, We'd like you to come in for an interview". Not even a "sorry, you're not what we are looking for". Just a vast silent empty Nothing. Which is about all that remains of my self-confidence. I'd like to blame my unemployment on the market. I keep on telling my parents that the reason why I am waking up at 2PM and watching TV all day is because the economy is bad and that no one is hiring. The truth is, the marlet isn't that bad, and that a few companies are hiring. They just dont want to hire me. AiiiEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!! Welcome to McDonald's~! Would you like to supersize that?"

2002-05-09T02:38:00.000-04:00

I was cleaning off my desk tonight and I came across a copy of the Stuy Alumni Newsletter. I began flipping through it and stopped at a letter written by a student at stuy recalling what he saw on Sept 11th.

Diary of a Mad Senior by Dylan Tatz
"So what did you learn in school today?" On Spt 11th, I gave a horribly truthful answer to this familiar question. "I learned that it is easy to tell a falling body from a piece of falling debris because bodies fall much faster." We stood in the 9th floor chemistry lab for almost an hour, shocked by the sight of men and women in expensive clothes glancing back into what was once their office, before throwing themselves towards the chaotic sidewalk hundreds of feet below. Some appeared to have a running start while others stood at the edge until the flames licked their skin and pushed them off into the endless cloud of smoke. Some held hands, while others preferred to dive alone into whatever fate followed that smoke.

I dont know why I am still dwelling on Sept 11th. It was so long ago, and although no one will ever forget what happened, people in NYC for the most part, have moved on. However, I still get very emotional everytime I read something or see something on TV about the WTC. Perhaps it was because I went to HS three blocks away or because I was so familiar with that neighborhood. The other day I was driving around lower manhattan and I got lost admist all the construction and one way streets. Soon, I found myself driving on the Westside Highway right alongside what use to be the WTC. I havent been that close to ground zero before. Although I was driving by and I only managed a few looks, the images were incredible. The magnitude of the destruction was surreal. Ground Zero is basically just a hole in the ground now with a bunch of cranes and bulldozers. But HOLY FUCKING SHIT what a hole. It was the size of a football field. I just couldn't believe that it was so huge. All I could do was imagine was what it would have been like if I'd still went to Stuy and I was there that day.

2002-05-05T01:29:00.000-04:00

Wow, I didnt know everyone cared so much. I feel so special. So in return, I will reveal who my mystery girl is to you all, even the ones I do not know. So yea, the girl is Esther Kim. Class of 2002. Korean. From College Point, NY. Really nice hair. Fucking cute as hell.

Yea, yea....so she has been the object of my infatuation for the past two years. My unicorn, my "fabled creature that can never be captured" (if you can name that line, you are truely a movie buff). I didnt really expect/want anything to happen when I told her. I just wanted to let her know that I was "fond" of her. Yes, Yes, hopeless I know.

2002-04-25T21:50:00.000-04:00

Kyle: Now that you are graduating, I just wanted to tell you that ever since I met you my freshman year, I've had the biggest crush on you.

Girl: Ohhhhh (sighing). Thats so sweet~! *girl pauses and dances away*

I believe unrequited was the word

2002-04-24T21:08:00.000-04:00

Seven Points.

0.7% of the total grade.

1.5 multiple choice questions on any of the exams.

Thats how much I failed econ 401 by. One or two more correct answers on the final, and I wouldnt have to repeat the hell fucking shit hole that is Econ. 401. Just 2 more answers and I would have had the C- that I needed to pass, instead of the D+ which I am sitting on. Had my pencil accidentally slipped and filled in bubbles C, and D on question 27 and 30, I would have been straight.

I asked. She said NO. I begged. She said NO. I lied, made up excuses. She said NO. Janet Gerson is the devil. I begged her to give me the lousy seven points I needed to pass that class. I told her that this was my 2nd time taking this class and that if I am forced to take it again, i wont graduate on time. She says, "Maybe you should reconsider concentrating in Economics. Have you thought about a General Studies Degree?" A FUCKING GS DEGREE. Hello, my parents arent paying $30K a year so I can come out of Michigan with a GS degree. My parents are paying $30K a year so I can fucking take econ 401 over and over again~!!!

Do you understand how little seven points is. Its like...Seven hundred Chicken Nuggets, and accidentally dropping 1 on the floor. BIG FUCKING DEAL~! PASS ME GODDAMIT~!

I dont understand. I am a relatively good person. I open doors for people. When mothers with strollers are trying to get down the stairs to the subways, I pick up the stroller and bring it down for them~! Why God WHY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why does life have to be so HARD~!!! $#@$@#$$#@#@

I cant take it anymore. I am going to get ready to go to Nectos for the last party of the year and get fucked up~!! Holla at dem HOs~!!!!!

2002-04-20T00:52:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard already, the beloved All-American clothing company Abercrombie and Fitch Co. has recently released a line of T-shirts featuring caricatures depicting stereotypical Asian features. My favorite one is the shirt that has the slogan that says "Wong Brothers Laundry Service - Two Wongs can make it WHITE". Read more about the shirts HERE. Anyways, I went to Briarwood Mall the yesterday and paid a vist to the Abercrombie store looking for the shirts. I had envisioned myself throwing a huge fit in the store, protesting the shirts to the managers, and doing something drastic along the lines of setting the shirts on fire. But to my disappointment, I was only able to find one shirt. I am guessinig the entire line either got bought out or the store managers pulled the shirts from their shelves. I am hoping iths the latter.

Tonight, I was directed by a friend to check eBay and look for the shirts. Holy fucking shit~!!!! The "Asian abercrombie shirtts" were selling for $150+ with the # of bidders reaching 30+. One of the auction desciptions reads "seeing the ridiculous amount of money people are paying for the shirts my friends convinced me to sell my "collectors item" shirt. hey..if people want it..they can have it. i'm going to have a guilty conscience everytime i wear this shirt now anyways. HAHA." Isnt capitalism great? After I finish this entry, i'm going to run a search on eBay and see if anyone is selling their mothers because it seems everyone is just out to make some money, no matter how "wrong" it might be. If anyone has a minute, please go find these people on ebay selling these shirts and write them some hate email. Thank you.

For all those people who've said that I am too sensitive to "Asian" issues and that Asians have it easy compared to blacks or latinos. Take a fucking look at these shirts. Why doesnt Abercombie come out with a shirt advertising "Jamal's Fried Chicken" or "Pablo's mother fucking Tacos" or some shit?

Too sensitive my fucking ass.

2002-04-17T10:47:00.000-04:00

Its so hard to study when the sun is shining and its 80 degrees outside. Hell, its damn near impossible for me. Yesterday afternoon, after forcing myself to go into Starbucks and studing for my econ 310 exam for two hours, I decided to give myself a lil break and take a walk around the diag. Little...my ass.~!!!. What was suppose to be a 15 min walk, turned out to be THREE Friggin hours of ultimate in front of the Grad. Holy sheeba it was fun. There's nothing like tossing two discs, simultaneously across a crowded diag while hearing people scream for their lives as they dive to the ground, avoiding our flying discs of death. I think we managed to hit two people in the head, run down like three people while chasing the discs, and basically piss everyone off. But it was all worth it.

On a side note, I finally saw Shani again. For those of you that dont remember, Shani is the half black, half Taiwanese girl that I ....fancied in the beginning of the year. Anyways, she cut her hair. She looks like she has a head full of pubes. She is no longer cute. EK has taken the top spot now. She has really nice hair.

2002-04-10T07:06:00.000-04:00

Its 6:45AM. I have no idea why I am still up, but I am. Instead of studying or looking for an internship, I am doing what I do best. Sitting in front of my computer with my thumb up my ass. Anyways, I was linked to this Asian Top Sites thing and proceeded to click on a few web pages. What I found was incredibly disturbing.

On every site that I clicked on, my vision was blurred by entire pages of cap shifted text (Lyke DiS Ya KnW), retarded AzN PrYde logos, and retarded poems on how to be AZN. Pages and pages of things like, "How to be an Azn Gangster" and "Azn Pryde poems". WTF is that!?!? How retarded can people be? I mean, given that the majority of these pages belong to teens still in JHS or HS, but I mean c'mon. Is this the future of Asian America? Do these kids comprise the next generation of APA activists? Do these kids actually feel that THIS is what it means to be an Asian American? How about this poem...

I say it's about time
That I bust out this rhyme
To show that azn designs
Are truly divine
Cuzz it's all about the aznz
We're spread around the nation
I can't deal with all this hating
That all these niggaz be creating
You wanna try and take me?
Try and violate me?
Just cuzz you hate me
You be trying to annihilate me?
I say f*** you and your little b**** ass krew
Try and step b****, I'll show you what I can do
Are you man enough to gaze into these eyes?
Not one man that I despise has survived
Go ahead, call your lil' gangsta homies
In the end, you know i'll be feeling lonely
I'll see all you on the ground
All dead, not making a sound
You can't fade the Tru Azn Thug in me
Can't destroy the red azn blood in me
And when all these azn ladies be loving me
You know it's because of the Tiny Azn Tiger in me

Powerful stuff eh??

2002-04-03T03:39:00.000-05:00

*sniff Sniff*

Is that Chicken Shit I smell??

Queery?? Where are you????

I've missed you....

2002-03-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT ghetto.
I am 0-20% Ghetto

I don't even know what ghetto is? Fuckin Preppy. I better hop in my beamer - head for the hood and get some chicken, watermelon, and newports.

Maybe I should trade in the tims for a pair of penny loafers eh?

2002-03-27T04:04:00.000-05:00

I dont know why I am doing this. This will probably accomplish nothing but I need to vent a little.

To the person who is leaving negative comments on everyone's blogs:

1) WTF is wrong with you?? Are you really that pathetic that you find enjoyment in screwing with people's online journals? Perhaps you have beef with the people whose blogs you are messing with. If so, let them (me) know who you are and then maybe we can settle it in some other fashion instead of name calling on the internet. I mean c'mon, you are talking shit on people's ONLINE JOURNALS. How retarded is that?

2) The blogger community was created so that FRIENDS can keep tabs on one another. You have no business being here and leaving negative comments.

3) I am going to fuck you up. You can view this as an empty threat or whatever you want. I mean, you are just some asshole talking shit online, and the chances of someone finding your pussy ass are pretty slim. You'll probably disrgard me and continue to leave nasty little comments that you find clever and ill-witted. You'll probably think that I am just some punk bitch talking shit online and issuing threats with no chance of acting upon them because of your anonymity. However, keep in mind that you have pissed off and disrespected a lot of people and that sooner or later you will be found out. So fuck you, and I'll be seeing you someday.

Have a nice day.

2002-03-26T00:33:00.000-05:00

The Good news is.... its not the transmission.

The Bad news is.... its burnt out clutch, probably from too much power shifting and traffic light battles.

The REALLY FUCKING BAD news is that it will probbaly cost me around $700 to get everything done.

Ahhh, what a life. Who got a ski mask and a glock that I can borrow?

2002-03-25T01:00:00.000-05:00

Things are bad in Michigan.

I am poor. I am so poor that I am planning to buy a loaf of bread and eat PBJ's for the rest of the month. On top of the lack of money for food, I have massive unpaid bills to take care of. On TOP OF THAT, my car is fucked up... the story goes.

Last night at around 2:30AM, I was dropping someone off at the Lambda house and, what felt like my transmission fucked up on me. All I know is that one minute I was driving, and the next minute, there was a big jerk... like I had shifted wrong, and I was unable to shift into any gear after that. Luckily I was on a small street w/ almost no traffic so I just pulled off to the side. Had I been on a busier street, I would have been in trouble because my car was immobile and I wouldn't have been able to get off the street. With the help of a few Lambdas, I pushed my car into a strangers parking lot and left a note, pleading with them not to tow me. Now, I have to wait till Monday morning and have it towed to a garage and get an estimate. If I need a new tranny, I'm looking at like a $500-1000 bill. What a fucking bad night.

So now, I am poor. Tomorrow, I will be even more poor. And after I find out whats wrong with my car, I will be showing up at National city Bank w/ a ski mask.

On the bright side, the Funktion and 2XS alumni will be visiting Umich for Dance Mix later on this week. There will be massive partyin' and chillin' till all hours of the morning. Unfortunately, I wont be able to take part because I am so FUCKING POOR~!!! Ahh, what a life.

Gonads: There's some more bitching for you. Beat that.

2002-03-22T04:20:00.000-05:00

If anyone ordered and taped Wrestlemania this past weekend, PLEASE let me peep the tape. I am dying to find out what happened. I'm not the biggest wrestling fan, but there's just something about the immortal Hulk Hogan going up against the GREAT ONE, that just can't be missed.

I went to the Huaren 2001 showing today. I must say, Huaren has become a shadow of its former self. Not to say that the participants in it this year weren't good. It just seems that Huaren doesn't have the...the...the...ambience it once did. My favorite part of the show was when I mess up my own choreography. I bet if you rewind it and turn up the volume, you can hear me cursing. I think its finally time to leave the world of choreographed dancing and join my fellow dancefriends@umich.edu and watch. {{And one and two and Threeeeee four.}}

2002-02-22T05:27:00.000-05:00

I just looked up unrequited, and that is bullshit. My love gets returned. Sometimes....

2002-02-22T05:17:00.000-05:00

Wolverine is a bad ass son of a bitch, but "pain of unrequited love"? WTF is that? I'ma go look up unrequited in the dictionary now.

Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

2002-02-17T04:05:00.000-05:00

Yo, WTF is the deal. I just found someone impersonating me on Angie's blogger. It appears that there are some retarded and fucked up people in the blogger community, messing up the experience for the rest of us. I think I will take another vacation from the blogger community, much like Connie ( seems someone is impersonating her too).

On another note, Huaren is finally over. I appologize to my fellow hip-Hop dancers in advance for my sub-par performance. I think my dancing days are over. I think its time "dancing" became a spectator activity for me.

2002-02-13T06:40:00.000-05:00

Pet Peeve for the Day: Girls who snore. How un-attractive.

2002-02-12T05:43:00.000-05:00

Hello everybody. I am back~! I got a new hard drive for my injured PC and shit is it fast. Can you feel how briskly and effortlessly my programs pop up just after clicking on them 2 seconds ago? Can you feel it~!?!?! Okay, I am being dumb. But yea, my computer is fixed, and hopefully, I'll start blogging on a more frequent basis now.

Well, in my first blog on my new/old computer, I will do what I do best. I will Bitch and Moan~! Today is Chinese New Years. *happy new year to all the Cha-nese ppl* Today is also the day that I have an Econ 401 exam. I think that its so unfair for the school to give an exam on such a momentous holiday. I highly doubt the University Administrators would allow any department to hold an exam on say....Yom Kippur or Kwaanza or whatever. But of course, they can hold exams on Chinese New Years. Chinese people would never object because we are so fucking silent, un-opinionated, and goddam soft spoken. Nevermind the fact that we make up like a fifth of the WORLD's population, give and take a few million. And the chance that maybe, just maybe a few of the 1.5 Billion Chinese people on this planet attend the University of Michigan and might want to spend their new years with their families or having a nice traditional, non-China Gate, dinner. Just Maybe.... Perhaps I am over-doing the over-sensitive, pissed off at the WHITE MAN, Asian male part, but goddam it....I think its unfair.

One more thing, Can all of you email me your contact info. I lost everything in my Outlook address book when my comp. crashed. Chenks@umich.edu. Thanks.

2002-02-07T02:54:00.000-05:00

To all the cats that promised to visit A2, come now~!!! I am bored.

2002-02-04T01:01:00.000-05:00

Sorry everyone... My compter crashed a while back. I no longer have internet access, so I am unable to blog anymore. I'll try to be up and running as soon as I can. But in the meantime, I hope everyone is doing well.

And to Dave, or whoever the fuck is pretending to be him. If you are going to be a lil hardass, try some of that shit in front of me and we'll see what happens. Okay, thats it.

2001-12-28T00:58:00.000-05:00

Merry Belated Christmas everyone~!

2001-12-08T05:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I am extremely judgmental and really quick to criticize other people. I don't know why but thats just the way I am. I am a critical, self-righteous son of a bitch. The reason I bring this up is because I got really pissed at someone today, and I dont know if I was justified or not at getting pissed at this person. So here's the story...you be the judge.

I went out to a movie with some friends tonight. We saw Ocean's 11, which was really bad, but thats besides the point. My friend, invites this freshman, named Dave, along. I've met Dave a couple times before. We're not strangers but we're also not friends by any means. He just seems to tag along every once in a while. Anywayz, throughout the night, I noticed that everytime we went somewhere in my car, Dave always ran up to the car and grabbed shotgun. He never asked anyone if they wanted to sit up front or anything. He sat shotty the entire night. Now, maybe this is the old skool Asian side of me speaking, as if there was any other side to speak of, but I was always "taught" that in terms of seating etiquette in someone's car, senority takes precedence over everything. Meaning, if you are younger and there is someone older than you in the car, other than the driver, you offer them the front seat and get your retarded young ass in the back. Even if you are 6'2 and everyone else in the car is 4 foot 9", you sit in the back, unless they insist that you take the front seat. But whatever, maybe he's just not familiar with such mannerisms. But OMG...on the way back from the movie, playboy decides to recline the seat, ALL THE WAY DOWN, and place his arms above his head prop his feet up on my dash~!!! WTF is that bullshit. I dont know, maybe he mistook me for his driver or some shit. My friend even asked him is he was comfortable sitting like that, and the he actually replied "yes".

Like I said before, I know I am very critical and judgmental of other people. However, based on this little story I just told, am I out of line to say that I want to kick this little bitch's ass??

2001-12-08T05:20:00.000-05:00

Popular..charmed millions with my enigmatic smile? HaHAa...now I finally know I spend WAY too much time online. At least I am one of the most valuable and loved pieces of art. Dont you agree?

2001-12-08T05:19:00.000-05:00

If I were a work of art, I would be Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa.

I am extremely popular and widely known. Although unassuming and unpretentious, my enigmatic smile has charmed millions. I am a mystery, able to be appreciated from afar, but ultimately unknowable and thus intriguing.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

2001-11-19T05:14:00.000-05:00

I finally got to drive a Civic SI the other day. It was quite amazing. There's just something about hitting 7000 RPMs in 3rd gear @ 70mph down East Williams at 4AM, that gives me a warm, tingly feeling inside. I want one now. Someone please buy me an SI~!!

2001-11-19T05:08:00.000-05:00

I've discovered a new shorty to stalk on campus. My life has purpose once again.

2001-11-12T03:32:00.000-05:00

It's 3:30am. In trying to hide from my Economics of Japan textbook, I wandered over to friendly So.Cal boy, James' page, and I was astounded, thats right, ASTOUNDED. Playboy has some serious photography skills. Those who haven't been there should def. check it out.

I wish I was still taking pictures. I really miss it. I flirted with it a little in High School, but what little talent I had back then is pretty much gone. The only proof I have that I was a half-way decent photographer is my Junior year report card with a 95 next to 'Photography'. Now, my minolta sits on the top self of my room with a 1/4 inch layer of dust blanketing my $300 camera.

2001-11-11T23:00:00.000-05:00

What do you really say to a friend when a loved one passes away? I mean, are there any words in the English language that could possibly make my friend feel any better? I wish I could have offered my friend more than just "I'm sorry". I wish I could have said something, done something more to make him feel better about his loss.

To my friend, I hope that you know that I love you like a brother and that I am with you in mind, spirit and heart.

2001-11-03T03:33:00.000-05:00

My computer crashed 2 days ago. I dont know why but it did. It started making this ehhhhhh sound in regularly timed intervals. I rebooted and it crashed. Now, my connection is slow as hell, it takes forever to open up a program, and I lost everything in my MS outlook...emails, contacts. I am sad. My computer, which I picked up for a a measly $500 during priceline.com's liquidation 'sale', is now fucked up. If anyone knows how to fix computers or knows someone who knows someone who knows how to fix computers, please holla at me. Thanks.

2001-10-30T03:41:00.000-05:00

Last week, in my Intergroup Dialogues class, I was paired up with someone in my class and sent out for an hour to get to know each other. I was paired up with John, a White republican from a middle income family in Michigan who wrestled and earned 12 letters in 3 sports in High School. Needless to say, I was concerned with what my partner would think of me because, well, I dont talk to many white people, let alone someone who was SO White. Anyways, during our hour long conversation, I expressed my discontent with the American educational system, in particular, the way it neglects and marginalizes Asian Americans. We talked about several issues ranging from Affirmitive action to the War in Afghanistan to Diversity on campus, often referring to Asian Americans and how I feel that we have been jerked by so many facets of society. I felt it neccesary to re-iterate several times to my classmate that 'my views do not represent the views of all Asian Americans", but I get the feeling that he won't remember to mention that when he tells his friends about the converation he had with the 'Asian' kid in his class After reconvening with the rest of the class, we were asked to summarize what the other person had said. John, procceded to tell the class..."Well, this is Kyle. He isn't as patriotic as I am and he's really not that proud to be American. He has problems with the American Educational system and is against the war in Afghanistan". I sunk down into my chair as I watch the mouths of my other classmates drop to the floor.

"Hello, my name is Kyle and I am the racist, anti-American Asian guy in your intergroup dialogue class".

2001-10-24T19:17:00.000-04:00

I have been in some excruciating pain these past couple of days. My throat feels inflamed, thats right...INFLAMED. It hurts to swallow, eat, drink, speak, sleep, think. Every minute of every hour, for the past 5 days, has been filled with pain. I initially thought that I had a throat infection, possibly strepthroat or Anthrax or something. I tried the old-fashioned chinese remedy of just drinking water and pissing a lot, but that didnt work very well. I also tried drinking mad tea w/honey and lemon, and sucking on cough drops every 30 secs, which is giving me a huge tooth ache, but those failed too. In the end, I went againts my traditional Chinese instincts and went to see a doctor. I went to UHS, expecting to find out that I'll have to get my tonsils removed or something, when it turns out that I have a huge mother fucking canker sore in the back of my throat. OMG, it was fuckin huge. No wonder it fuckin hurt so much. Oh wells, at least I dont have anthrax nor need surgery. I will go drink some Anbesol now and drown the mother fucker.

2001-10-23T03:10:00.000-04:00

I miss New York.

One more month to go before I go back to New York and ...

~take a walk down Main St, gagging on the carbon monoxide-filled air, while gawking at the 13 year old JHS girls, who look way too old for their own good, standing in front of BK.

~Go to Ten-Ren and have a big glass of Jen Ju Nai Cha.

~sit down at Galaxy Cafe and bitch to my friends about how much school sucks.

~sit down at Blue and bitch to my friends about how much school sucks.

~drive across the Brooklyn Bridge and stare at what use to be the WTC.

~hug my parents, and not tell them that I love them, even tho I really really do.

one more month...

2001-10-15T15:03:00.000-04:00

I think I'ma stop writing about my failed attempts with Jane. Too many people are making fun of me. I hate you all.

2001-10-12T02:20:00.000-04:00

Ever hear the saying, "When oppurtunity knocks, open the door"? Well, to that phrase, I'd like to add..."Grab opportunity by her slim, size 2 waist and never fucking let go~!!

I just saw my Jane at Blind Pig. She looked beautiful, as usual. I was ready. I was ready to pronounce my undying love for her. I was ready to go up to her, and offer my world, if she would have it. (Haha, not really, but you get the idea.) Anyways, she stood by the bar, with a friend, trying to excape the 119 degree dance floor. I stood there, contemplating my strategy. Heeding the wise words of my trusty friend of balls, Gonads, who said 'Hurry and and go fucking talk to her or I will', I decided to wait and hit her up on the dance floor. But alas, that was the last I got to see Jane tonite. I spent the rest of the night, wandering the crowded dance floor, in search of her but she refused to be found. So sad am I.

2001-10-11T08:05:00.000-04:00

its 8AM. This is the fourth day in a row that I have seen the sun rise.

This is the fourth day in a row that I have seen the sun rise through the window of my jail cell-like bedroom, complete with cinder block walls. I've had the pleasure of being awake during the morning hours to watch the sunlight gradually creep into my room. However, instead of being in bed, with my Beautiful Asian Princess (BAP) in my arms, smelling her hair and kissing her good morning, which is the only circumstance that I wouldnt mind being up at this hour....I am fucking studying~!! Four days in a motha fuggin' row, I have studying as the sun is rising. Isn't college life wonderful. I need a vacation.

2001-10-08T06:56:00.000-04:00

God help us all.

2001-10-08T06:47:00.000-04:00

It's 6:35 AM. Thats 6:35 in the goddam morning. I am still awake, not surfing the internet or watching TV. Instead, I am dilegently studying for my Econ. 401 exam that takes place roughly 36 hours from now. I must say that I am quite impressed with myself. I've been studied for this exam this entire weekend, abstaining from parties, a healthy diet, fresh air, sunlight. I better get a fuckin A on this exam.

And as I study, the world is at war. Innocent people in Afghanistan are possibly dying as I type this. But it's okay since they are a 'third world' nation and the United States of America is the almighty, arrogant, self-serving, savior and leader of the goddam "free" world. Its okay because those bastards bombed us first! Its okay because the US is an industrialized superpower and the Afghanistani people can't even afford to buy shoes. Its okay because over forty different countires support the America's actions. Its okay because one American life is worth more than an Afghanistani life. Its okay because we live in the greatest country in the world.

Its okay.

Its okay.

Its okay.

2001-10-01T03:12:00.000-04:00

Would you let your girlfirend or boyfriend use your toothbrush?

I was just thinking about a funny conversation I had with my ex-girlfriend, my freshman year. She was adamantly against it. She insisted that no matter how close two people were, there was no reason why they should have to share a toothbrush. I saw the sharing of a toothbrush, as a thoughful display of affection and trust.
Its not like I had this incredible urge to use her toothbrush but it was just the principle and ideology behind it. I mean, if your b/f or g/f were to stay over your place one night, and they forgot to bring a toothbrush, wouldn't you let them use yours? Hell, if you are willing to kiss and possibly swap fluids (depending on your style =0:: ) with this person, its pretty much the same as handing over your bristles and scrubbing their teeth for them, isn't it?

I just feel that if you were to let that special someone use your toothbrush, it shows that you trust them enough to share this intimate part of yourself. Your Personal hygiene.

Am I a crackhead for thinking this way or does someone out there feel the same way?

BTW: I visited her during my Spring break and she offered me her toothbrush. I decided not to take chances and brought my own.

2001-09-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

I hate drunks.

The only thing I hate more than drunks are BAD drunks.

Y'know, those people who insist on drinking themselves into oblivion at each and every single opportunity. Those people who drink so much that you can strip em' down to their underwear, launch them out a third story window into the street, and they still wouldn't know whats going on. But whatever, that's expected at any college party.

Mean drunks, are the ones that I have a problem with. I'm not even talking about those guys who get drunk, get violent and go looking for a fight. Those type of people I have no problem dealing with. The drunks that I absolutely cannot stand are the ones that give fucking attitude to their friends who are trying to take care of their retarded ass. Hello~!! Are you FUCKING RETARDED.~! Your friends are there trying to take care of you, to make sure that you dont get hit by a car, get fucked up the ass by random strangers, and you have the fucking balls to give them attitude like they did something wrong. I swear, for every one of you that do this to your kind-hearted friends, you should be fucking thrown off a building, head first into a rusty nail.

2001-09-19T17:45:00.000-04:00

I overslept 4 of my 5 classes today. I am so going to fail.

2001-09-19T17:44:00.000-04:00

Great News~! Babbs, friendly Residential Advisor @ South Quad said that Jane was one of his residents last year. Although he's not too sure, he thinks that she is part Black and part TAIWANESE~! Yo, all I'm saying is that if this is true, the search is over. Old-Fashioned Taiwanese values with a little Hip-Hop flava. OMG, its sooo over. All this is just speculation and based on generalizations, but who knows... Jane, where are you?!?!

2001-09-17T15:00:00.000-04:00

It seems like I have nothing important nor interesting to blog about since 'that day'.

2001-09-17T14:52:00.000-04:00

I spoke to my mom last night. My sister, whose office was right across the street from the WTC is forced to move to Boston. Her Comapny, Fidelity Investments, basically gave her the ultimatum, work at their Boston office or get laid off. She obediently left days later.

My mom also mentioned that since witnessing the events on Tuesday and right before she left for Boston, my sister slept in the living room, on the couch, with my father's golf club in hand.

My older sister is one of the most aggressive, strong-willed and outright BITCHY people I have ever known. I can't imagine her like this.

2001-09-12T22:10:00.000-04:00

I will miss:

~I will miss getting lost while driving around late at night in Manhattan and looking at the Twins to find my way home. 'Just drive towards the WTC. The Brooklyn Bridge is by there."

~I will miss driving into the city at night, coming off the BQE and crossing the Brooklyn Bridge into downtown Manhattan. There's that point, right when you get on the bridge, start driving up it and the the entire downtown skyline takes up the entire front windshield of your car. The silouette of the buildings in the moonlit night. The lighst of the skyscrappers sparkling in the East River.

~I will miss walking across the stuy bridge and seeing the Twins on my left.

~I will miss standing in between the two towers and looking up in awe of its greatness.

~I will miss that part of me that feels safe, secure.....peaceful.

2001-09-12T21:41:00.000-04:00

Today wasn't what I expected. The general mood on campus was unusually light-hearted; at least in my opinion. People did not seem to be mourning or grieving. Stories were being shared like they were the newest gossip that came out of Hollywood. Stories of people they knew who were in the area/buildings. Stories the he said/she said. This really disturbed me. I was mad. I wanted to go up to those people on the street corners, in front of the coffee shops, in my classes and say..."Shut the FUCK up~! You dont know shit." By speaking of yesterday's events in sucha casual and light-hearted manner, I feel, is EXTREMELY disrespectful to those who have friends/family in that area and who are grieving and mourning. I wish everyone would just STFU.

2001-09-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

I'm afraid to see what tomorrow will be like...

2001-09-11T20:02:00.000-04:00

It really puts things in perspective. All this bullshit that I struggle with day to day is all meaningless and trivial. Nothing in this world would mean anything if I dont have my loved ones. Thanks to good fortune and good/bad timing, my family, my friends, those people in my life that I love and care about are still with me. For that, I am forever grateful.

2001-09-11T19:58:00.000-04:00

Today, September 11th, 2001, the World Trade Center in NYC is no longer standing. I sit here, trying to make sense of the events that have occured in the past 11 hours. I am left with a surreal feeling of disbelilef. I wish I could describe the things that I am feeling. The only word I can think of to describe my state of mind right now is...disbelief. Everything will be different after today's events. My life, my perception of reality and the world will never be the same.

2001-09-11T19:50:00.000-04:00

EVERYTHING has changed.

2001-09-09T06:17:00.000-04:00

A bunch of us went singing at this No-rae-bang, on Packard. I must say, it was pretty fun. I was quite impressed by the lyrical skillz of my friends. PZ showed us wassup with his Bryan Adams/Bon Jovi impression. He was hollering and hittin' notes that I thought was going to make his head explode. Sharon and Julia was holdin it down for the girls, dazzling the rest of us with their sweet Kareoke voices. They are no doubt veterans to the No-Rae-Bangs of the EasYde... It was fun.

2001-09-09T06:10:00.000-04:00

Hark, my angel has spoken. Yes, I saw Jane today. (In case you didnt know, Jane is the girl Iam currently sweatin' and looking for, all over campus). She looks just as good in the light, as she does under the dim lights of a club. She was wearing a cute lil dark blue shirt/skirt and sounded quite angelic when she spoke. 'Can you pass me a fork' she said to Jon as I stood behind him in the buffet line of this cultural event they had at Trotter house. I stood there, awe-struck with my thumb up my ass, not saying a word. Perhaps she is the difference I have been craving for. A new shorty, a new goal. Dayam, I should just grow some balls and talk to her.

2001-09-08T04:14:00.000-04:00

Same ole shit dog, just a different day. Here we go again. ~DMX

2001-09-07T04:12:00.000-04:00

Went to Blind Pig tonight. I think it would have been decently fun, but I wasn't feeling the crowd. Something about the 500 smelly, sweaty people jammed into a mathcbox of a club just doesn't sit well with me. The highlight of the night was seeing this FINEEEEE ass girl right when I was leaving. OMG she looked so good. I think I will call her Jane; just to have a name to go with her face. Anyways, Jane is HOT. I think she's mixed (black with some 'Asian' in her). Short hair, nice athletic body, and CUTE face~!! She looked good from every angle. I was going to go up and talk to her, not to hit on her, but just to tell her that I thought she was beautiful. But, in the end, I chickened out. I should have though. I probably will never see her again. So sad. I will miss you Jane.

2001-09-06T00:28:00.000-04:00

I'm afraid. Thats pretty much what it is. I'm afraid of staying the same. I'm afraid of not changing and not growing. I dont know why I feel this incessant need to be different and revise myself. Maybe I am, in fact, quite disatisfied with myself or my life. Who knows. But all I know is that I am craving change. Things have to be different for me this year. They must.

2001-09-06T00:16:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been on campus for almost a week now. I can't say that I am very happy to be here, despite how much I complained about being bored in New York. It's weird, I think I had so many expectations for this year that from the moment that I stepped on campus, everything fell short of it. Actually, I really didnt have expectations, just Hopes. I had hoped that this year would be better than the last. I had hoped that I could finally get myself together and find my path. I had hoped that everything would somehow fit together and I would find the perfect balance between work and play. Although its only been a few days, and all I have done is clean, un-pack, and chit-chat with people, I feel things will horribly deviate from my hopes. Its hard to explain. I just feel that this year will be incredibly habitual and that nothing will change. I feel that I wil be doing the same things that I did last year, only this time, it wont be new and exciting anymore. It'll just be old. Hold up, I'ma go make myself a cup of tea.

2001-08-30T03:28:00.000-04:00

I have about a day and change before I start driving back to Michigan. Its strange. This entire summer, I couldn't wait to go back to school. It was probably because I accomplished absolutely nothing and felt useless every single day. At least at school, I have goals, a sense of direction i.e. good grades and girls. Yeah school is tuff and I dont have the comforts of home cooked meals and freshly washed boxers (not that I dont wash my boxers at school), but I am my own person. Given the fact that my parents still financially support me at school, I am basically on my own. If I fuck up, I have no one else to blame but myself. However, if I do something well i.e good grades and girls, my success is owed to no one but myself. But now, I want to stay in New York. I dont want to go back to school. I'm scared shitless of whats to come this year. I am going to be a Junior. An upperclassmen. I know this sounds like a bullshit thing to get worried over, but its for real now. No more fucking around. No more excuses. Its really time for me to get my shit together and stop screwing up. And quite honestly, I dont know if thats possible. I know to some people, I seem like I have lots of confidence in myself. That I know my place in this world and am perfectly content with it. I am the responsible, self-righteous one. Always giving advice and sharing opinions. And to some, I'm probably just an arrogant mother fucker who thinks he knows everything. In any case, HERE IT IS~! I am clueless. I have no idea what I am doing or want to be doing. I have no direction. I have no goals. I am so lost in what I want to do with my life or what I even want out of life. I seriously dont have a clue as to what I want to major in. I am only choosing Econ. because it 'seems right for me'. I am scared. Important decisions will have to be made this coming year that I am terrified of making. This type of anxiety is probably normal for most juniors, but I am not use to it. I DONT LIKE IT~! I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing and not having any clues. Maybe trying so hard to be so independent isn't such a good idea. Maybe its time that I start NOT being the responsible, self-righteous one with all the advice and opinions. Maybe I should say "I dont know" or "I'm not sure" more often. Maybe I should stop writing and finish packing.

2001-08-28T23:21:00.000-04:00

The trip can be summed up in the following points.

1) I am incredibly grouchy when I can't smoke for extended periods of time.

2) As much as I love my family, I cannot spend extended periods of time with them.

3) Sunsets are BEAUTIFUL.

4) Smooth, wide streets and hooked up import cars are a Beautiful thang.

5) I want a Japanese garden in my backyard. Bamboo, stone steps and Koi. I want 'em all.

6) Just because there are an abundance of Asian girls on a street, doesn't mean there will actually be a good looking one.

7) As much as I LOVE New York, I need to get away from it.

8) I met my niece for the first time. As cute as toddlers are sometimes...I can't stand them.
*I taught her how to give pounds. Whenever we saw each other, I would hold out my fist, and she would tighly tap it with her fist, and say....... 'Ughhhh'. Its the cutest thing in the world.

2001-08-28T22:55:00.000-04:00

I went to Vancouver with my family this past weekend.

2001-08-23T23:04:00.000-04:00

Isn't that some incredible shit~!!
He explains that the flower symbolizes life, in that, if something good happens, you have to 'sieze the moment' before it fades away. This flower took THREE years to blossom, and it will only lasts for a few hours~!! I know this sounds really cliche' and something that you would see on the nature channel but yo, it was in my backyard. I walked by this ugly looking plant hundreds of times, not realizing what was actually there. This makes me think of all the other things/pepople in my life that I dont pay much attention to, but are so dayam beautiful and rare. My parents, my friends.....that girl. Maybe I should tell them how I feel, before its too late and the opportunities are lost.

2001-08-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

I just saw something amazing. My dad called me into the backyard a couple minutes ago. Thinking he wanted me to take out the garbage or something like that, I reluctantly went downstairs and outside. He pointed to this plant that was in the corner of the backyard. As I walked closer, I noticed that there were two beautiful flowers that were blossoming from this, rather ordinary looking plant. This is called tan hua, he said. He told me that he planted it THREE years ago and tonight, it finally blossomed. These two flowers took three years to blossom and will only blossom for a few hours. In about an hour or so, it will wilt, and the two flowers will fall off.

2001-08-23T15:14:00.000-04:00

I think I'm in Love. No dOubt~!

Yo, baby got an 8-pack n shit.

I think she epitomizes everything I want in a girl. I mean, baby has style, flavor and not to mention, FINE as hell. To top it off, she seems pretty humble and shy. If you feel you have qualities similar to Janet Jackson, please dont hesitate to give me a call. I am waiting.

2001-08-23T15:13:00.000-04:00

I went to the Janet Jackson concert at MSG last night.

2001-08-21T15:16:00.000-04:00

Woohoo.~!! I fuckin passed~!. I am not a failure. I can succeed.

Sorry about the outburst, but I just got my grades from the classes I took this summer at QC.

2001-08-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

I am in a complete and utter state of stagnation. I am running and running, only to find that I am standing still. I'ma go Drive now.

2001-08-20T21:03:00.000-04:00

I am in a Rut.

2001-08-18T01:49:00.000-04:00

Before I write anymore, I have to give credit where credit is due. I gotta give props to Jon Yang for getting me started on this whole blogging thing and for doing the layout/design for the page. I initiially wanted to have the page plastered with naked women in various, acrobatic positions, but he persuaded me to go with the car. But yea, Thanks a lot Jon.

2001-08-18T01:42:00.000-04:00

Anyways, here is my blogger. This is my first attempt at any type of journal. I hope I'll be able to share some intriguing and thought-provoking sentiments but I'm sure these entires will probably be filled with incessant bitching about girls. Either that or laundry lists of questions and thoughts about import cars, which I'm sure most of you could give two shits about. But yeah, I'ma try though.

2001-08-14T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well, this is my first time blogging. I hope it doesn't hurt like my friends say it will. I am so nervous. Am I going to do it right? Am I going to be any GOOD?!? I hope everything works out. Okay, here goes. I'm just going to turn off the lights and go for it. I can't be a Blog-Virgin forever, right? This better feel good~!!!