Last week, in my Intergroup Dialogues class, I was paired up with someone in my class and sent out for an hour to get to know each other. I was paired up with John, a White republican from a middle income family in Michigan who wrestled and earned 12 letters in 3 sports in High School. Needless to say, I was concerned with what my partner would think of me because, well, I dont talk to many white people, let alone someone who was SO White. Anyways, during our hour long conversation, I expressed my discontent with the American educational system, in particular, the way it neglects and marginalizes Asian Americans. We talked about several issues ranging from Affirmitive action to the War in Afghanistan to Diversity on campus, often referring to Asian Americans and how I feel that we have been jerked by so many facets of society. I felt it neccesary to re-iterate several times to my classmate that 'my views do not represent the views of all Asian Americans", but I get the feeling that he won't remember to mention that when he tells his friends about the converation he had with the 'Asian' kid in his class After reconvening with the rest of the class, we were asked to summarize what the other person had said. John, procceded to tell the class..."Well, this is Kyle. He isn't as patriotic as I am and he's really not that proud to be American. He has problems with the American Educational system and is against the war in Afghanistan". I sunk down into my chair as I watch the mouths of my other classmates drop to the floor.

"Hello, my name is Kyle and I am the racist, anti-American Asian guy in your intergroup dialogue class".

I have been in some excruciating pain these past couple of days. My throat feels inflamed, thats right...INFLAMED. It hurts to swallow, eat, drink, speak, sleep, think. Every minute of every hour, for the past 5 days, has been filled with pain. I initially thought that I had a throat infection, possibly strepthroat or Anthrax or something. I tried the old-fashioned chinese remedy of just drinking water and pissing a lot, but that didnt work very well. I also tried drinking mad tea w/honey and lemon, and sucking on cough drops every 30 secs, which is giving me a huge tooth ache, but those failed too. In the end, I went againts my traditional Chinese instincts and went to see a doctor. I went to UHS, expecting to find out that I'll have to get my tonsils removed or something, when it turns out that I have a huge mother fucking canker sore in the back of my throat. OMG, it was fuckin huge. No wonder it fuckin hurt so much. Oh wells, at least I dont have anthrax nor need surgery. I will go drink some Anbesol now and drown the mother fucker.

I miss New York.

One more month to go before I go back to New York and ...

~take a walk down Main St, gagging on the carbon monoxide-filled air, while gawking at the 13 year old JHS girls, who look way too old for their own good, standing in front of BK.

~Go to Ten-Ren and have a big glass of Jen Ju Nai Cha.

~sit down at Galaxy Cafe and bitch to my friends about how much school sucks.

~sit down at Blue and bitch to my friends about how much school sucks.

~drive across the Brooklyn Bridge and stare at what use to be the WTC.

~hug my parents, and not tell them that I love them, even tho I really really do.

one more month...

I think I'ma stop writing about my failed attempts with Jane. Too many people are making fun of me. I hate you all.

Ever hear the saying, "When oppurtunity knocks, open the door"? Well, to that phrase, I'd like to add..."Grab opportunity by her slim, size 2 waist and never fucking let go~!!

I just saw my Jane at Blind Pig. She looked beautiful, as usual. I was ready. I was ready to pronounce my undying love for her. I was ready to go up to her, and offer my world, if she would have it. (Haha, not really, but you get the idea.) Anyways, she stood by the bar, with a friend, trying to excape the 119 degree dance floor. I stood there, contemplating my strategy. Heeding the wise words of my trusty friend of balls, Gonads, who said 'Hurry and and go fucking talk to her or I will', I decided to wait and hit her up on the dance floor. But alas, that was the last I got to see Jane tonite. I spent the rest of the night, wandering the crowded dance floor, in search of her but she refused to be found. So sad am I.

its 8AM. This is the fourth day in a row that I have seen the sun rise.

This is the fourth day in a row that I have seen the sun rise through the window of my jail cell-like bedroom, complete with cinder block walls. I've had the pleasure of being awake during the morning hours to watch the sunlight gradually creep into my room. However, instead of being in bed, with my Beautiful Asian Princess (BAP) in my arms, smelling her hair and kissing her good morning, which is the only circumstance that I wouldnt mind being up at this hour....I am fucking studying~!! Four days in a motha fuggin' row, I have studying as the sun is rising. Isn't college life wonderful. I need a vacation.

God help us all.

It's 6:35 AM. Thats 6:35 in the goddam morning. I am still awake, not surfing the internet or watching TV. Instead, I am dilegently studying for my Econ. 401 exam that takes place roughly 36 hours from now. I must say that I am quite impressed with myself. I've been studied for this exam this entire weekend, abstaining from parties, a healthy diet, fresh air, sunlight. I better get a fuckin A on this exam.

And as I study, the world is at war. Innocent people in Afghanistan are possibly dying as I type this. But it's okay since they are a 'third world' nation and the United States of America is the almighty, arrogant, self-serving, savior and leader of the goddam "free" world. Its okay because those bastards bombed us first! Its okay because the US is an industrialized superpower and the Afghanistani people can't even afford to buy shoes. Its okay because over forty different countires support the America's actions. Its okay because one American life is worth more than an Afghanistani life. Its okay because we live in the greatest country in the world.

Its okay.

Its okay.

Its okay.

Would you let your girlfirend or boyfriend use your toothbrush?

I was just thinking about a funny conversation I had with my ex-girlfriend, my freshman year. She was adamantly against it. She insisted that no matter how close two people were, there was no reason why they should have to share a toothbrush. I saw the sharing of a toothbrush, as a thoughful display of affection and trust.
Its not like I had this incredible urge to use her toothbrush but it was just the principle and ideology behind it. I mean, if your b/f or g/f were to stay over your place one night, and they forgot to bring a toothbrush, wouldn't you let them use yours? Hell, if you are willing to kiss and possibly swap fluids (depending on your style =0:: ) with this person, its pretty much the same as handing over your bristles and scrubbing their teeth for them, isn't it?

I just feel that if you were to let that special someone use your toothbrush, it shows that you trust them enough to share this intimate part of yourself. Your Personal hygiene.

Am I a crackhead for thinking this way or does someone out there feel the same way?

BTW: I visited her during my Spring break and she offered me her toothbrush. I decided not to take chances and brought my own.