I have about a day and change before I start driving back to Michigan. Its strange. This entire summer, I couldn't wait to go back to school. It was probably because I accomplished absolutely nothing and felt useless every single day. At least at school, I have goals, a sense of direction i.e. good grades and girls. Yeah school is tuff and I dont have the comforts of home cooked meals and freshly washed boxers (not that I dont wash my boxers at school), but I am my own person. Given the fact that my parents still financially support me at school, I am basically on my own. If I fuck up, I have no one else to blame but myself. However, if I do something well i.e good grades and girls, my success is owed to no one but myself. But now, I want to stay in New York. I dont want to go back to school. I'm scared shitless of whats to come this year. I am going to be a Junior. An upperclassmen. I know this sounds like a bullshit thing to get worried over, but its for real now. No more fucking around. No more excuses. Its really time for me to get my shit together and stop screwing up. And quite honestly, I dont know if thats possible. I know to some people, I seem like I have lots of confidence in myself. That I know my place in this world and am perfectly content with it. I am the responsible, self-righteous one. Always giving advice and sharing opinions. And to some, I'm probably just an arrogant mother fucker who thinks he knows everything. In any case, HERE IT IS~! I am clueless. I have no idea what I am doing or want to be doing. I have no direction. I have no goals. I am so lost in what I want to do with my life or what I even want out of life. I seriously dont have a clue as to what I want to major in. I am only choosing Econ. because it 'seems right for me'. I am scared. Important decisions will have to be made this coming year that I am terrified of making. This type of anxiety is probably normal for most juniors, but I am not use to it. I DONT LIKE IT~! I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing and not having any clues. Maybe trying so hard to be so independent isn't such a good idea. Maybe its time that I start NOT being the responsible, self-righteous one with all the advice and opinions. Maybe I should say "I dont know" or "I'm not sure" more often. Maybe I should stop writing and finish packing.

The trip can be summed up in the following points.

1) I am incredibly grouchy when I can't smoke for extended periods of time.

2) As much as I love my family, I cannot spend extended periods of time with them.

3) Sunsets are BEAUTIFUL.

4) Smooth, wide streets and hooked up import cars are a Beautiful thang.

5) I want a Japanese garden in my backyard. Bamboo, stone steps and Koi. I want 'em all.

6) Just because there are an abundance of Asian girls on a street, doesn't mean there will actually be a good looking one.

7) As much as I LOVE New York, I need to get away from it.

8) I met my niece for the first time. As cute as toddlers are sometimes...I can't stand them.
*I taught her how to give pounds. Whenever we saw each other, I would hold out my fist, and she would tighly tap it with her fist, and say....... 'Ughhhh'. Its the cutest thing in the world.

I went to Vancouver with my family this past weekend.

Isn't that some incredible shit~!!
He explains that the flower symbolizes life, in that, if something good happens, you have to 'sieze the moment' before it fades away. This flower took THREE years to blossom, and it will only lasts for a few hours~!! I know this sounds really cliche' and something that you would see on the nature channel but yo, it was in my backyard. I walked by this ugly looking plant hundreds of times, not realizing what was actually there. This makes me think of all the other things/pepople in my life that I dont pay much attention to, but are so dayam beautiful and rare. My parents, my friends.....that girl. Maybe I should tell them how I feel, before its too late and the opportunities are lost.

I just saw something amazing. My dad called me into the backyard a couple minutes ago. Thinking he wanted me to take out the garbage or something like that, I reluctantly went downstairs and outside. He pointed to this plant that was in the corner of the backyard. As I walked closer, I noticed that there were two beautiful flowers that were blossoming from this, rather ordinary looking plant. This is called tan hua, he said. He told me that he planted it THREE years ago and tonight, it finally blossomed. These two flowers took three years to blossom and will only blossom for a few hours. In about an hour or so, it will wilt, and the two flowers will fall off.

I think I'm in Love. No dOubt~!

Yo, baby got an 8-pack n shit.

I think she epitomizes everything I want in a girl. I mean, baby has style, flavor and not to mention, FINE as hell. To top it off, she seems pretty humble and shy. If you feel you have qualities similar to Janet Jackson, please dont hesitate to give me a call. I am waiting.

I went to the Janet Jackson concert at MSG last night.

Woohoo.~!! I fuckin passed~!. I am not a failure. I can succeed.

Sorry about the outburst, but I just got my grades from the classes I took this summer at QC.

I am in a complete and utter state of stagnation. I am running and running, only to find that I am standing still. I'ma go Drive now.

I am in a Rut.

Before I write anymore, I have to give credit where credit is due. I gotta give props to Jon Yang for getting me started on this whole blogging thing and for doing the layout/design for the page. I initiially wanted to have the page plastered with naked women in various, acrobatic positions, but he persuaded me to go with the car. But yea, Thanks a lot Jon.

Anyways, here is my blogger. This is my first attempt at any type of journal. I hope I'll be able to share some intriguing and thought-provoking sentiments but I'm sure these entires will probably be filled with incessant bitching about girls. Either that or laundry lists of questions and thoughts about import cars, which I'm sure most of you could give two shits about. But yeah, I'ma try though.

Well, this is my first time blogging. I hope it doesn't hurt like my friends say it will. I am so nervous. Am I going to do it right? Am I going to be any GOOD?!? I hope everything works out. Okay, here goes. I'm just going to turn off the lights and go for it. I can't be a Blog-Virgin forever, right? This better feel good~!!!